Day 13 & 14


Back in the saddle!

OK, that’s not me, it’s World and Olympic Champion Victoria Pendleton. But it COULD be me!!!

Let’s back track a bit…

Yesterday, I spent most of the day helping a friend manually transfer all of his client data into a new computer system. He’s bringing all of his 20 + years’ worth of client base to a new hair salon. I’m a pretty fast typist. We got the job done, in fact, it was really challenging and fun! He bought me lunch and dinner, and we were square!

I also met with my life coach Michael again! It was phenomenal! I feel more confident and a bit more sure of my road ahead, likely more than ever! Michael’s entry into my life has been a Godsend! You can find out more about Michael G. Duhaney and his life coaching at his website here!

Today was the big day, going back to my GP. As I expressed earlier, I’ve been afraid to go too hard-working out so I’ve been almost paralyzed!

When Dr. Swift entered the examination room, he jokingly said, “You’ve been misbehaving!” He then proceeded to tell me my low sodium had everything to do with me drinking way too much water and not enough electrolytes/sodium/potassium. I looked him in the face and said, “I have to ask you something, ” and I started to tear up, “I’m afraid to run. I’m afraid I’ll keel over and die, all alone on a path, and no one will find me!” I had full-on tears at this point and my lip was quivering. He moved closer to me, looked me in the eye and said, “There is nothing wrong with your heart. This only had to do with dehydration. The fact that you made it through this proves how strong your heart really is!”

I was relieved. I then asked him a few questions Lisa wanted me to ask about maximum heart rate etc. After dissing people who run with a heart rate monitor, looks like I’m going to have to purchase one myself! Small price for my sanity and Lisa’s too!

I’m due back in a month. Since I left the hospital, I was surprised when I was there that my blood pressure was actually below normal. So I’ve been hitting Shoppers Drug Mart stores and testing my blood pressure with their machines and printing them out. I showed the doc and that’s really what has kept me off the meds! But he wants me to keep testing once a week and bring the printouts back in a month!

I’ve got a free pass  now to continue!!! I’m elated!!!

I have experienced so much within our Canadian health care system in the past few months, I’m going to write an entire piece about that, maybe even a letter to the editor of a national paper! Look out for it in the VERY near future!

Suffice it to say I made no secret to the people caring for me that I understood because I am unemployed and without a health insurance provider, had I lived in the United States, I’m not sure if I would have been able to pay for the care I’ve just received! I know no one gets turned away but I was absolutely ashamed by the amount and the level of spitefulness at the root of so many people’s complaints.

Walk a mile in an American family’s shoes on social assistance.

And so I am grateful!!! Grateful to be in good health and grateful to live in the best country in the world! And so very grateful for the friends and family that have supported me through thick and thin!

I am truly blessed! 🙂

Now, on with the training!!! Stay tuned!!!

LOVE this AC/DC tune! Bring on the summer!!!

Day 11


For some reason, I want to say, “Devil horns!” (You would NOT believe all the stuff that comes up when you google that!)

I was just referring to the double ones in “Day 11” but wow, there’s a lot of satanic stuff out there! YIKES!

I’m getting really antsy about not being able to do cardio so I’m taking in a resistance training class at the gym with a friend. I’ve been testing my blood pressure at the drug store and it’s been perfect. I feel slovenly and need to get moving! Lisa is concerned and rightly so, but I don’t see the doc till Thursday morning. And I refuse to take any meds till I see him!

So….

We’ll have to see how it goes!

In the meantime, I really want to get on my bike or run, or SOMETHING, so I may see how I am after the class and jump on the treadmill afterward, even just to walk/run or walk on an incline…

I’m really getting restless!

Spring though has got me in a great mood!

I went and tried on dresses today at Winners! I can’t rationalize buying one because I already have so many but hey, they look nice! I DID buy some workout shirts on sale though. THAT I can rationalize!

On the weekend, I noticed that my car is literally crumbling on one side near the wheel well. The rust is literally eating it away. I’m going to have to get it fixed somehow and I suspect there are other things that need to be done other than the regular oil change. There goes the tax money! I think I’ll just tell them I  have “x” amount, what can you do for that? Again, it’s a decent car, ’99 but low kms. Hopefully it’ll last a little longer!

A friend living in TO approached me about writing a book together. I have no idea how to write a book or where to start so I said sure but she’d have to walk me through what to do. That excited me a bit! I LOVE to write!

So feeling like I just want to cut loose today! Dance with the music blaring and shake my tail feathers, I’m so restless!!!

This song came to mind…

Day 10


Being patient sometimes seems like a great feat!

Waiting until my body is healed seemed impossible today! It got up to 21 degrees Celsius and would have been a perfect day for a run or bike! Instead I stuck to lots of walks with the dog and tons of flights of stairs, up and down, to get my heart rate up.

Then all I wanted was ice cream!

I also learned a valuable lesson about myself today.

I don’t say what I mean.

I skirt around things, dance around them, joke about them, without coming  right out and saying them, especially if they’re particularly hard like an apology. I think I’ve always used this coping mechanism. I don’t think I’ve ever been good about saying what I mean in certain circumstances.

Sure, I can make a political point in a discussion, debate till the cows come home, but it’s when emotions get involved, that’s when I really do the dancing.

And it stems from fear. Fear of being vulnerable. At least it does for me.

I do all manner of tricks, smoke and mirrors, and particularly, jokes, sarcasm and wit to protect myself from appearing vulnerable.

I’m sure I’m not the only person that does it. But it’s very hard to come clean and admit. And to see it in yourself.

But it became obvious to me today. Almost like a fog lifting.

It’s a big admission for someone who claimed to “communicate” for a living at one time!

But now that I’ve recognized it, there’s now an opportunity to address it, hopefully with courage to overcome the fear of being vulnerable. For saying what I truly mean.

Big day for patience and meaning.

So maybe in being patient, in being still, in simply “being”, that’s when you do the most self-examination, come to the best conclusions.

When you’re just “being”.

I think I’m on to something!

This song came to mind sitting out on my front stoop with the dog in my lap, watching the folks stroll by in Wortley Village today, thinking about what I’m learning…