Day 99


I feel overwhelmed with emotions as I enter into the final day! But one thing’s for sure, I am starting a brand new chapter in my life! It’s scary but I feel incredibly free to take a leap of faith!

As you may have guessed, the business of figuring myself out took precedence over training for a triathlon! However, I’ve learned so much about myself and I don’t think I’ve felt more confident in being and accepting who I am in my entire life!

I guess I came to the realization that maybe I’m not cut out for a regular Mon-Fri job, maybe not even a regular anything! I have never explored my creative side and I think it’s turning out to be my BEST side!

I have all the supplies to start painting except an easel! That’ll come! There is a hair salon that I walk by everyday on my daily jaunt with my pooch! A captivating painting was hanging there. Then one day, it disappeared, apparently it sold! The space on the wall is still empty and I am hoping I can create something that will hang there soon!

I’ve started writing my book! I just woke up one morning and instinctively knew the right words to put together and visualized the scene in my mind. At first, began with using characters in a non-fiction style but I think I’m going to go for the gusto and do non-fiction. Why not?

I’m purchasing my Passion Parties kit and I’ll be doing parties ASAP! Can’t wait to get money rolling in again, I think I will really like it!

I’ve been helping a new real estate agent friend and he and his girlfriend have been sweet enough to do some absolutely wonderful things for me! The good karma is certainly making itself around and I feel like the luckiest and happiest woman in the world! There are truly many great people in this world!

My EI runs out at the end of August but I’m not worried, I know everything will come together and bills will get paid!

My dalliance with the younger man turned out to such a complicated ordeal but again, so much I’ve learned about myself and how I am in any kind of relationship, even a casual one! I run at any sign of feelings that I can’t express. I’d rather end something than have to share how I really feel or I would rather pressure someone to make an instant decision about whether they want to be with me or not! Turning the mirror on myself has been therapeutic but hard to admit my foibles. But it has to happen in order for me to be ready and open to live in the moment, in any kind of relationship really, not just a romantic one! My lesson is to just breathe. Take in the joy in every moment instead of leaping ahead. Stop for a moment, look around and see how much fun you’re having! Instead of trying to plan ahead.

I think that’s my lesson for everything in my life!

Live in the moment! Take it all in! Live in the intoxification of joy! Leave worry behind! It’s utterly unnecessary!

I’m likely not the only one, but I’m pretty sure I have been, and will be the rest of the summer, keeping the LCBO in business just with the purchase of wine for wine spritzers alone! But it’s been fun! I’ve been having the best time! And it won’t end, I refuse to wait for the other shoe to drop! I don’t even want it in my psyche!

And so I go to the 25th reunion tomorrow, with two of my good friends, one of which I see at girls’ night once a week! I am truly blessed with the people who have come, gone and remained in my life!

It brings tears to my eyes how much absolute wonder and joy I’ve experienced over this time!

And it’s just the beginning!

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One comment

  1. Michael Duhaney · July 8, 2011

    Great work Shauna Rae, what you have to say matters and I am happy youare finding your way. Much love.

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