Day 40

I’ve been in a funk! A really mind-numbing funk!

The weather has been phenomenal and all I’ve really wanted to do is drink beer, sit and have a few laughs! (And although I drink Guinness, beer is not typically my choice… it’s just this awesome weather!)

I’ve been working out with Lisa, last week I only managed one session and one good run! My bike is great, ready to go, but in the basement it sits! I had a nightmare the other night that I woke up the next day and had to the triathlon with no training! I woke up with a knot in my stomach about the swim, and terrified that I would drown!

I haven’t even signed up yet! I need to decide on an event, make sure I have enough time, and COMMIT the time! I’m starting to think I am a commitment-phobe! Is that possible? We always chastise guys for being just that but maybe I’m a commitment-phobe in a lot of elements of my life, including relationships!

Is it the fear of failure? That’s part of it, but I don’t want to do an event to COMPETE with anyone but myself… and right now, she’s my worst enemy! Am I afraid to succeed? Afraid of what that will mean? Maybe.

As far as the job front goes, I have applied for a ton of positions and heard absolutely nothing. Not one whisper, email, phone call. However, just yesterday, I invited the head of sales at the Delta Armouries here in London to join my LinkedIn network. She obliged and sent me a note that she’s like to meet me for coffee! Don’t know why or for what but my profile labels me as a “broadcast communicator/social media marketer”. I rattled off a few things I thought she may want to chat about but she said there was nothing really specific, I think she just wants to pick my brain! It could be exciting!

I also paid for and booked a “headshot photo session” in Toronto to give me a more professional profile picture for biz cards, social media profiles, etc. So another trip to TO!!! That should be fun!

I meet with my life coach Michael today and I haven’t seen him in I think three weeks now so we should have lots to talk about! Perhaps we can talk about my phobia to commitment!

I finally washed my floor today and tidied up! My neighbour’s brother, a carpenter, agreed to help me put up some pictures on my wall that I have been procrastinating. Hopefully we can get that done before the party… He’s a really nice man and I quite like him!

So I’m unmotivated and feeling the pressure to move! I will try a bike ride shortly here and see where it takes me!

Ironic that I feel like I am still spinning my wheels!

I love Jeremy Fisher! He’s Canadian!


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