Day 16 and 17(Palm Sunday)


I’ve been called a loser TWICE but am not bothered at all!

Take me as I am!

The first, was because I chose to do something for myself. I told a friend I would go with them to pick up garbage as a public service to the city, but emphasized I had other plans first AND that if the weather was crappy I wasn’t going period. My planned shopping trip got delayed and it was pouring rain. I told my friend I couldn’t meet her. She called me a loser. I know she was just joking and a bit miffed that I had bailed on her, but still, loser I was to her.

Later, another friend had invited me to go “out with the girls” to a local establishment (Joe Kools) as a celebration of both of our birthdays. I hadn’t had a drink since Mar. 18, after cracking my head, plus, I’ve grown a bit weary of the bar scene, although patio season is on the horizon! She texted me early and I asked if she had a bunch she was going with. She said about 15 or 20! I then said I likely wouldn’t be going, didn’t feel like it. Loser again.

I guess I learned it’s okay to not want to go somewhere for whatever reason. And it’s with disappointment that friends jokingly say things. But I don’t have to let it make me feel guilty. I’m me. Take it or leave it.

I was honest with yet another friend about how I really felt about our interactions. I was afraid he’d be pissed off but being honest now, to me, is more important than pretending to be someone I’m not.

On the other hand, my car was broken into but I felt incredibly lucky because I had nothing to steal and when they dumped out my glove box, there was virtually nothing in it since I’d brought in all my service receipts and owner’s manual to look them over and put them in chronological order to review them easily (no I’m not normally that anal!)!

Plus, I’m having company over for dinner and I really haven’t felt much like doing that for a long while! I’ve had a few friends over, in fact just a couple of weeks ago, and it was great to “thank” them for their support and encouragement over the past several months! These folks are family and have been an immeasurable positive influence in my life. They have been more like family than my own. And I got to know them by marriage, the last one that didn’t work out. And while the rest of the family disowned me immediately, these folks stuck it out and have been incredibly supportive and kind. I’m excited to do something as trivial as cooking a meal for them! I truly enjoy their company too!

When I went to my local village bakery to get some bread for dinner, they were just icing their hot cross buns! It’s cash only there so I ended up coming home with half a dozen of the buns and no bread! 🙂 It was so worth it!

I was supposed to meet Lisa, my trainer, at her place for a workout video for both of us but decided to hike my stairs a few times and get dinner ready here at home! We’ll schedule our workouts for this week!

I just feel incredibly free and happy! And I’m getting my “funny” back! I know life ebbs and flows but I want to hold on to this feeling for as long as humanly possible!

Even though the weather is drab and cold, it’s been an incredible few days and bound to get even better! 🙂

Oh so sexy Chris Isaac! Feeling like a sexy goddess too! 😉

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6 comments

  1. Wanda · April 17, 2011

    Sounds like it’s all coming together Shauna! – happy for you – it WILL take practise – be true to yourself. I’m enjoying your journey – helps all of us in some way or another.

  2. shaunarae67 · April 17, 2011

    Thanks Wanda! We’re all inspiring in one way or another! You are to me!!! 🙂

  3. lucille · April 18, 2011

    Shauna:

    We have known each other since elementary school. I have always admired you! You are a bright light and a positive force in this world. Sharing yourself with so many of us is inspiring. You are courageous, witty and encouraging.

  4. shaunarae67 · April 18, 2011

    Oh Lucille, what a lovely thing to say! Thank you! You, too, have also been a positive influence! We all inspire one another! We all struggle and I believe that everyone is the same, good person at their core, life experiences and pain just get in the way! 🙂 Thanks again!

  5. lucille · April 18, 2011

    Just a thought about the ‘loser’ comment. Since turning 40, I have found power in saying ‘no’. whether it be to more volunteer work, which I already do a tonne of, or even to friends for a night out, when I really just want to curl up on the couch for a nap or a good book.

    • shaunarae67 · April 18, 2011

      Maybe it IS aging. I like going out sometimes but would rather make it an event than a habit! Just seem to enjoy it more! By the way, you’re going to the reunion right? 🙂

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